I was seeing a guy for a short while. I am diabetic and have severe medical issues. I was with him only a small amount of time before I had to tell him that if he did not wish to seek professional help from a psychiatrist that I would have to leave him as a result of his severe depression and suicidal thoughts. I gave him a month and after he still refused I left him. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. I am only 23 and I felt he had the right to know. He told me right away to have an abortion. I told him that was not a choice I felt comfortable in making. I asked him if he would give me a sum of money to help me pay for child items (PRENATAL) such as medications like folic acid and diabetic items. He obliged an he signed a piece of paper (on a bank statement, at the bank in front of cameras) that says he is giving me (not loaning me) the money for prenatial (before) birth care. I plan to use the money to get to my many doctors appointments since I have no car and live in the country away from all the doctors. He is now saying that he wants the money back and that he wants to see the baby.

My thoughts are this, and I’m only looking for the opinions of people, if I wasn’t concerned with the best interest of the child I wouldn’t ask. If the father has a severe mental health issue, refuses to get help, and now is trying to go after me legally for money he gave me, but wants to see the child…what right’s do I have in protecting myself and the unborn baby? I have 7-8 months of pregnancy to go and already I am very ill, it’s painful, it’s scary, I live alone and he is not supporting me except for the financial pay he gave me, now he wants it back. Legally I have no reason to give it back, and if i do he may still come after me for the child. But how fair is it for a mother to have to go through nine months of hell alone, while still having to work, clean, cook and take care of her health, then give painful birth, and then have a father (or sperm donor in this case) walk in and declare he has rights? His family will support him in his decisions. My family has been supportive in mine. He will not speak to me, and I see this as being unstable right from the start. If he can’t communicate to me that he needs some space to think how will he ever communicate visits with my child? How can I work with someone who is not communicating? How do I protect myself and the child BEFORE it is born? I don’t want to have a little baby that I have worked so hard for for 9 months be born and then have him able to barge in and take the infant for the weekend.

Tagged with: Canada • child • father • qquestion • right

Filed under: Prenatal Depression

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