Fiancee who has Postnatal Depression says she wont marry me! Is this just hormones, Advice?
I am 29 and have been with my fiancee for 8yrs, engaged for 2, she is 26 and gave birth to our first child 7mths ago. She has diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when she was 19 and after our sons birth she suffered from postnatal depression, I am a full time firefighter and because of shift hours i cant always been there. Her family are very dysfunctional and many of them have broken marriages and drink problems, she is the youngest of 7 siblings. Previous to proposing to her she told me she didn’t believe in marriage as she had seen so many fail and she didn’t want to deal with that, shes convinced her family are jinxed when it comes to happy ever afters, Despite that she agreed to get married as she knows how much it means to me to marry her. We don’t have a date set but last night she told me she cant to the marriage thing and is petrified of having a wedding. I feel so let down i love her to death and cant imagine my life without her but i really want to make her my wife. She is still suffering from PND and when our son cries she always says she has to do something -bathroom, phone, shop etc- she hasn’t got a bond with him at all and will try hard to avoid being around him alone, she works full time so as both her parents have passed away my mom or sisters look after him while we are working. She was always the life and soul where every she was and has so many friends but now she just daydreams a lot & doesn’t bond with our son. I feel l ike im losing the woman i love but i never want to leave her, Any advice on how i handle any of this would be great.
Tagged with: advice • Depression • Fiancee • hormones • Just • marry • Postnatal • says • this • wont
Filed under: Postnatal Depression
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If your son is only 7 months and your fiancee is not connecting with him, you’re going to have to work especially hard on your end to make sure he connects with you. Above and beyond taking care of your child, I don’t really know what to tell you. It sounds like she’s just got more issues than she can handle at this point. Knowing you are there for her will provide stability but you can’t bear the brunt of being a full time parent/full time firefighter and try and make her happy too.
You need to get her to the doctor if you havent already. There are things they can do to help her. She is not herself right now so you have to be patient. She is scared and feeling bad, and cant deal with the thoughts of marraige on top of that. She NEEDS to bond with your child. If she doesn’t get help for her postpartum depression, it could get worse. Make an appointment for her if she’s not going to do it herself and take her there. Its very important to get help with this condition!!