Is this postnatal depression or am I just overtired?
I dont think I have postnatal depression but I am paranoid about the way Im feeling and wonder if anyone has felt this way?
I am a 1st time mum with a 3 wk old son. He is good and doesnt cry very often. But when he does cry (usually at night) I feel really hopeless and feel like I am useless if I cant stop him crying. Part of me also feels angry that nothing I do helps, and angry that my husband cant just up and fix it.
I feel such a bond with my son and really do feel so much love for him. But I feel so down when I have to get up at night to change or feed him.
I end up taking all my anger out on my husband and feel angry at him every time I have do anything for the baby. I end up resenting the fact that he isnt doing it.
I seem to be much happier in the day than at night, so im wondering if it is just because I am overtired. But I am also struggling to sleep.
I feel more unhappy when friends and family are around me and hate it when they want to hold my son. Do i need help?
Tagged with: Depression • Just • overtired • Postnatal • this
Filed under: Postnatal Depression
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I am not a doc, but it does seem you are overtired. I had PPD and in my case, EVERYTHING seemed hard day and night. I always felt overwhelmed. I would just watch the clock until hubby got home. I would isolate myself once he did. I felt forever hopeless that I wouldn’t get back to normal. It took 3-4 months. Having a great hubby helped out tremendously. ALso my mom stayed for a month.
I dsay a bit of both I am on my fourth baby and she is 7 weeks old and Im so stressed at the moment I feel like Im on my own I know Im not but thats how I feel and it is being overtired which does cause a little post natal depression
pretty sure your just over tired. Your a first time mum it wont all come naturaly to you, but soon you will learn your babies cries and what he wants. He will soon sleep longer and wont need to be fed as often it will be much easier the first few weeks are always the hardest because your never sure on what to do. But be patient you WILL get the hang of it. =D
Good luck
I know from experiance that sleep exsaustion can trigger post natal depression. Honeslty, I don’t think you have PND, but I think you are extremly tired and you are forced to learn a whole new cycle of living in this exsausted state. I felt exactly the same way as you did when my son was new. It does pass, turly, in a month you will feel totally different. If things get worse, or you find yourself srying more, then you do need to talk to your OBGYN. If you nip it in the bud, you can prevent this exhaustion from triggering PND ( as it did with me). You may need to ask for something to help you sleep when you can. there are many natural drugs out now that may help.
I thought I was the worst mother in the world for 6 months of my first child’s life … then I started having some really good sleep and i realized that I wasn’t at all a bad mother, I was just Really REALLY tired.
Perhaps talk to your husband about taking the baby for a couple of hours when he comes home form work so you can sleep. Perhaps if you breast feed you could pump and give your hubby the bottle to give your baby for the last feed of the night to give you an extra amount of sleep. Is there family who can help?
I hope that your sleep comes easy and fast .. your not strange … there’s not one thing wrong with you … your 100% normal.
— your just tired.
All new mums are worried about the baby at night and when we are tired our husbands even if they did get up would make such a hash of things we would end up taking over.
Try and get a break i know it is hard. Ask a relative to give you a day off. Do what you want have a lie in, soak in the bath and relax. I know i never wanted my child to go with family as they all do what they want and think that my opinion does not matter. Friends and family are a easy target for our frustrations as they only seem to say negative things. Or that is all we hear. If you are worried about who to trust look for a childminder. They are about three pound an hour, you can vet who and when. Some even have over night vacancies. You then may be capture some time with you husband and explain how you feel.
If you still feel the same about things go with your husband to the doc. Talk together. I had post natal pespession after my first born. Did not help lost my nana and bro within six months. Got help (happy pills) then sorted myself out. Had a miscarriage then fell pregnant with twins. Again got bad postnatal. But i noticed this. A year after i was able to ditch the pills and touch wood its been nearly a year now. Yes i get upset and down but now i know how to pick myself up.
Talking to some one out of the picture might help, find a childrens centre. met new mums your focus will change on to your life not just been a mum.
And im here if needed.
P.s if your crying at end of everyones nice messages then please seek help.
Nope you don’t need help. You just need to try and relax and enjoy your baby. You are probably having post pardom depression, and it is very normal to be feeling all the things you are feeling.It will pass. One day you will wake up and it will be gone.It would help if you and your husband could take turns getting up with the baby. But you know men!!! Don’t worry to much. you are perfectly normal. And take your vitamins.
Yes, you need help from your husband. What you are feeling is normal. There is a reason sleep-deprivation is used as torture! Explain to your husband that you need help. Even feeding or changing in the early evening once or twice is help. Letting you have time to shower is help. I’m talking from experience. It’s hard to put him down or walk away from your son, because he’s so wonderful and he’s all your’s, but you do have to take care of yourself, in order to be a good caretaker for him. Also, your hormones are still adjusting. Be patient with yourself.
I worked in a very high-pressured, high-powered job, before I became a stay-at-home mom. Being a mother, especially new, was/is harder than anything I’ve ever done, but the most rewarding. I suggest checking with your area community center to see if there is an area parent/infant/toddler play group.
If at anytime you feel like you want to hurt yourself or your baby, take him to a neighbour you trust and call your doctor.
Welcome to Motherhood. No I don’t think you need help it is just something that you go through. I find it works out better at night if my husband is away working. If I know that there is not anyone else to get up then I don’t find it a problem. That just may be me though. Why don’t you and your husband try swapping up nights. You could get up one night and then him get up the next. The only problem with that would be if you are breastfeeding and then just make sure you pump on your husband’s night to get up to feed. Maybe this will help you out some. Take Care and don’t let yourself get overwhelmed.