i am a 20 year old female, who is sexually active, but i do not need a child at this point in my life, nor am i trying to conceive. i am waaay too young in my opinion and i want to be married first. i am on depo-privera birth control, and just had myself checked, and i am not pregnant, nor am i having any symptoms thereof. i have recently been struggling with depression/anxiety and took some anti-psychotoics. now i am just on low prozac, hypo thyroid meds, zyrtec for allergies, and prenatal vitamins ( i will explain those).

despite my desire to NOT have a baby right now, i keep having vivid dreams, almost every night, about having a baby or being pregnant, or giving birth. of course, since i’ve never experienced any of that, the dreams can be kinda wacky, b/c i don’t know what to anticipate. for example: before i actually had sex for the first time, i would dream about “having sex” but me and the guy would just kinda lay on each other?? it’s like my mind tries to fill in the details about how a baby kicking inside would feel, morning sickness, birth, etc. the unfortunate thing is that the theme of the dreams is that 9/10 times i am a bad mother, or my baby dies, or i kill it by accident, or miscarry, or it’s abnormal severely, or it is a lifeless plastic doll and i have to earn the right for it to be a real child??? like i’m not worthy or something… and since it’s abnormal or dead, i either go to prison, a mental hospital, or my family shuns me. i wake up breathing hard, sometimes sweating, and sometimes in tears. it’s very disturbing and i am sick of it, quite frankly. do i just need to have a freakin baby and get it over with, or what? MAKE IT STOPPPP

every time i hear a baby cry, i worry if it’s okay, even from across a restaurant. if i see a baby or small child, i have to hold, pinch, or talk to them or i feel like i’m holding back a sneeze, or something! so weird! so annoying to the mother i’,m sure…

the best way i can describe it is through my theory: it’s almost like my BODY wants to have a baby (id), or thinks it’s instinctually ready or very fertile or something, and my mind gets excited about it and would like it to happen (ego?) b/c i swear everyone else i having them…ALLL MY FRIENDS. but then my logic (superego?) says noooo waaay, you can’t afford it, no time, etc.

is this normal? i asked my developmental psychology teacher about it, since we’re studying prenatal stuff, and she looked at me like i was crazy. am i losing it??

THE ONLY correlation i can even imagine is that i am young and fertile, and all my friends have babies. also i have been taking pre-natal vitamins as dr. ordered to help my nails and hair to grow stronger, however i highly doubt that taking over the counter walmart pre-natal vitamins make you hallucinate and dream about babies non stop. please help me! personal advice/experience, or sound medical info? i really appreciate it.

Tagged with: About • dreaming • having • nonstop

Filed under: Prenatal Depression Symptoms

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