Separation at birth.?
Friday, June 4th, 2010 at
11:17 am
Do you think that children who were in a prenatal environment that is harmful, weather from pre-eclampsia, drug use (illegal, chemo or pain management), physical abuse of the mother or anxiety/mental illness have more/less trauma from separation than a child who was in a healthy in utero environment?
Tagged with: Birth • Separation
Filed under: Prenatal Anxiety
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I am a bipolar and I would have hard time giving up a baby for adoption. I have two wonderful boys that I love very much and I couldn’t see myself giving them up for anything…
The baby is susceptible to whatever the surroundings.
There’s not much difference, actually. Human infants are born expecting and needing a continuity of environment from the womb to life outside the womb, regardless of its nature.
Hmm interesting to think about. My mom was healthy as a horse, scared out of her mind but healthy. I had/have tons of separation related trauma.
I wasn’t healthy during my pregnancy with my son, not unhealthy but not as healthy as I could have been mostly caused by the pregnancy itself. There was major stress in my life and I was physically abused during my pregnancy. I almost lost him twice and was in preterm labour for three weeks prior to his birth. When he was in the NICU I spent as much time with him as possible but obviously had to go home once in a while to shower and sleep. When I was not there his monitors went off more frequently, he was fitful and wouldn’t sleep, he cried and whined constantly. He would also start “grunting” (inbreathing attributed to Hyaline Membrane Disease) again.
I’m not sure about others but in my case the fact that my emotional and physical health was not splendid did not decrease his separation anxiety.
I have read that the fetus does pick up on the emotional state of his/her mother. But, regardless of her state during pregnancy, I doubt it would make separation at birth any easier for the infant; after all, she is all that baby has known, and if she was in a bad state during the pregnancy, how would the infant know what a “good” state was? She is the baby’s mother and that’s all the baby knows…and then she is suddenly gone. I think that no matter what, that separation from the only person the child has known for the first 40 weeks of life has got to be traumatic.
Hmm. I don’t know about which case would cause more separation trauma, but obviously the baby who was in a really poor prenatal environment will have more trauma in general, whether it be health affects, the trauma of withdrawal, disabilities, etc. and will have a poorer prognosis in general.
I have one child that experience a very hostile womb (pre-eclampsia) and a second that didn’t. Those children are now 9 and 7 (both boys, both raised the same, in the same school and even have had the same teachers). They are totally different but the oldest (with whom I had pre-eclampsia with) is very laid-back, calm and studious. The second (with whom I had a very normal preganacy) is much more high-strung and active. I think that is due to being the ‘sceond child” and nothing to do with the state of the pregnancy.
I posted a question similar to this a few months ago. I truly believe that a child does sense trauma in utero and thus allows him/her to adjust more quickly to a stable environment if presented with one after birth.
It does amaze me that many people have commented that bonding occurs during utero and that is why trauma occurs with separation. Yet, they feel that “unwanted” children do not experience this feeling in utero and would welcome a loving, safe environment.
I can only relate it to this. My son was born into a neglectful, abusive environment. He did not leave the hospital with his bio parents but with his bio grandparents. I am told that everytime the bio mother was around the child, our son would scream as if someone was trying to kill him. In fact, they refused to leave the mother & child alone in the room to insure that he was safe. Our son just screamed when around her. As soon as she left his sight, he was fine.
Do I believe children sense everything in utero and therefore react to that outside the womb? Based on what I’m told about my son, YES!
With my daughter, I was stressed and she was a happy child and very outgoing. I had contact with her until she was 18 months old, when the “open” adoption became closed.
My son was and still is a happy, calm, good-natured child. Someone mentioned that I must have had a very easy pregnancy. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
I think genetics play a huge role in a child’s disposition and also the daily environment they live in, but that’s only based on my experience.
I think that the study of twins seperated at birth can give us the closest answer. Some twins are were raised in completely different environments, yet they still shared, for the most part, the same likes, dislikes, and disposition.
Yes, I believe that to be true. As far as drug use, it absolutely has been scientifcally proven that it effects the baby. Physical abuse can certainly effect the baby. Mental illness can be genetic, so yes it can effect the baby. Everything the mother does to herself or someone else does to her effects the baby.