So if I keep my baby, will he/she and I be unhealthy?
I have been kinda depressed and have had clinical depression since 14 (I’m 24 now). I’m 11 weeks pregnant and scheduled for an abortion in a few days, I keep thinking I can’t do it. Main reason why is my boyfriend the father wants me to badly and we have been together for 2 years, I value his opinion and the relationship. But say I change my mind on the whim…will my baby be very unhealthy bc I have not been taking care of myself before or after I found out I was pregnant? I don’t smoke or drink but I rarely drink water, never drink milk or eat dairy products eat like one meal a day and a snack, and that’s it. I drink caffeinated drinks almost every 3 days. At 11 weeks could I have already caused my baby damage by this poor diet? Also I’m not on prenatal vitamins or anything.
Tagged with: Baby • he/she • Keep • unhealthy
Filed under: Prenatal Depression
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you would be amazed at some of the things babies can handle.
better to have the baby and give it up for adoption if you don’t think you can handle it when the time comes than to abort it and wonder for the rest of your life if you made a mistake. if you are having any doubts, i would definitely not abort. your depression would get SO much worse if you end up deciding you made the wrong decision.
if you don’t feel like you can do it, then don’t!
most likely your baby will be just fine. during my first trimester i had morning sickness so bad i could barely eat, whatever i could keep down i went ahead & ate (that was often junk food or fast food–not good nutrition!), & couldn’t keep down my prenatals, AND i smoked cigs until about 10 wks, ended up losing almost 10 lbs, but my baby girl is so healthy!!!
i’m 29 wks now…
while it is very important to eat as healthy as you can, no, i dont think you have damaged the baby just yet. Whatever nutrients you have stored in your body, the baby is taking. So far, all you’ve really done is probably caused yourself to be a little unhealthy, a little dehydrated, a little anemic probably.
If you start on vitamins now (doesnt even have to be prenatal, take a kid’s flintstone vitamin once a day) and try to eat a little dairy, a little meat for iron, eggs for protein, then you should be okay and of course schedule an appointment with your obgyn to check the baby’s progress.
you can still have caffeinated drinks. maybe even one a day but you have to drink water. thats important. if you decide to keep the baby, and i hope you do if you feel it is right for you, look into eating a little healthier okay? Good luck
Please keep your baby, your feelings and your boyfriend’s feeling will change as soon as you see those big, beautiful eyes looking up at you! Just think – you won’t have a chance to see that if you terminate your pregnancy, and there’s still a chance for you to change your lifestyle and start taking care of yourself! There are lots of women that don’t even find out that they’re pregnant until a much later stage (Sometimes 20+ weeks!!) and they have perfectly healthy babies. Please keep your baby!!!!
You’re baby I’m sure is just fine. If you do not want the abortion, Do Not get it. Don’t let ANYone pressure you into that.
You can go get an ultrasound and see your baby, arms legs and all moving around inside of you. The u/s can even give an accurate outlook on baby’s health. You can’t change the past, but you Can start changing things now!!
Your baby is fine. Alot of people do not know they are even pregnant until this stage. Please cheer up, God is giving this baby to you as a blessing and loves you both. He will take care of you. Go see a doc and he can help you with baby care and depression and you will be okay. I have been down in life but that passes like everything else. Do not have an abortion to make a boyfriend happy. He is no kind of father or man to even suggest one. There are other singles moms who manage out there and so will you.
If you need medical care , you will be approved for pregnancy medical benefits definitely and can get it at local hospital so dont worry about that either. Contact the pregnancy centers in your area. They will help you and also give you support and encouragement.
As I said baby is fine, please dont end its life…. you both deserve a chance to be happy and live and I think you may be in for plenty of blessings.
I’m sure I am going to get bashed, but I am pro-choice. The reason I’m saying that is because is it YOUR choice, not your boyfriends. Its your body. If you have any doubt what so ever about this decision, do NOT go through with it. You don’t want to live with that regret….think really hard before you make a decision. I do agree that adoption is a good option. There are so many families that would love to have a baby and can’t. If you’re unsure, cancel the appointment and take some time to think it all over.
Humans have had babies for eons, and they never used to get prenatal care or vitamins. The human race has survived. Your baby will be okay if you decide abortion is not for you. You could start taking better care of yourself right now. There are women in third world countries that don’t get enough food and no medical care and most of their babies are okay. Mothers in the 1950s and 1960s smoked cigarettes, drank coffee and alcohol, too, and no one knew they needed vitamins. Your baby will be okay. Good luck and take care of yourself.
this is just a side-note:
why do people all of a sudden when they get pregnant instantly think that they have to eat right and be all healthy. if your entire life your body is a garbage dump, starting to eat healthy /not smoke/not drink while pregnant wont really help.
If you don’t want the baby, give it up for adoption, but don’t kill it.
there are alternatives…like adoption.aborting the baby can worsen your depression and make you suicidal..seriously..get yourself together and take yourself the best way you can even if the father doesnt want to be involved..having that baby can be the thing that changes your life in a positive way you still have time to think about this depending on what state your in…trust me an abortion wont solve the problem.
You will regret it for the rest of your life, I myself thought of having an abortion because thats what my husband wanted me to do, we were seperated at the time and he said that would make him want to keep our marriage together. I seriously considered it got all the information on it, then I thought WHAT AM I DOING? My son is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me and if he doesnt want to be apart of something so special so WHAT why should I give up my chance of being a mother just because thats not what someone else wants…So here I am my son is 14 months old and the joy of my life. Please I urge you to really consider the what you are planning on doing, just because you havent been taking care of yourself doesnt mean that you can’t start! Don’t let someone else make such an important decision for you! Make this choice for yourself!
step up and take your vitamins and keep this baby! You are having doubts because you know you are about to kill your unborn baby. You can make a difference now by changing your diet and taking your vitamins. You were adult enough to have sex and you should be adult enough to suffer the consequences.
Think of all of the women who didn’t know they were pregnant until after 12 weeks or so…. many of them still have healthy babies. A friend of mine had a baby 2 weeks ago and didn’t know she was pregnant until 13 weeks and her baby boy is fine and healthy.
Please highly reconsider the abortion. I know women who have done this and it haunts them for the rest of their life. And from what you have stated dealing with depression on and off for a lot of your life, personally I think it would make it much harder. At 11weeks the baby already has a heartbeat and is already moving its little arms and legs. Its brain is already developing. If anything give the child up for adoption if you do not think you and your BF can handle raising a child. some agencies find adoptive parents who allow the birth mothers to be apart of the child’s life. I worked with a lady who gave her son up for adoption 17yrs ago and the adoptive mother still sends her pics of him, and she is still able to contact him if she would like.
Please just really really reconsider going through with the abortion. If you would like to talk or have any other questions please email me.
No. I have had 3 kids and my diet wasn’t what you may think as good. I drank drinks such as sodas and coffee and my girls were healthy. Prenatal pills don’t change anything either they just give you extra minerals so you won’t become depleted. Anything your baby needs he/she will take from your body, if there is a problem you would’ve already known (you would’ve miscarried). You can change your diet and get the proper care and everything will be okay. Oh and not to be in your business but, don’t do something that you might regret later. I thought about abortion with my 2nd and my 3rd daughters and I’m glad that I didn’t. Plus it could make your depression worst if you went through with it.
A lot of women don’t find out they are pregnant until they are 12 + so you should be fine. IF you are in doubt about the abortion then you should put it off until you are 100% sure. Once you get it done you can’t take it back. You’re baby should be fine! It is probably very healthy right now. Your obgyn should be able to confirm this.
Please PLEASE think about your decision. If your boyfriend doesn’t want the baby, then maybe your should tell him your doubts. maybe he is having doubts too.
Your baby is fine! If you change your mind and start eating more veggies and the foods you need to, you’re baby will be very healthy. As for caffine, you don’t have to cut it all the way back, most guidelines will say no more than 2 cups of coffee a day, or 300 mg of caffine.
BTW… if you are religious talk to a pastor/minister/ or whatever you go see. perhaps just call on the phone. But from what I learned, a baby/person has to be baptized to go to heaven. just a thought….
Good luck and let us know what happens!!!
the baby would be fine, but you would be exhausted unless you start eating a little bit better. it seems that the baby will take its nutrients from the food you eat, and if not, it will take it from your reserves (bones/blood stream etc). many women are just too damn sick in the 1st trimester to eat properly, whether the baby is planned or not, and then make up for it in the 2nd and 3rd trimester when the pregnancy really drains the body. i think that maybe your circumstances are causing you to doubt your ability to create a healthy baby.
when i had my first baby i didnt find out i was pregnant until i was 25 weeks (no weight gain/had no real menstrual cycle due to a condition), and during this time i was a smoker and had a few instances of getting drunk.i also had taken antibiotics for a skin condition and didnt have a great appetite. i was also on a strict diet of no dairy/sugar/beef due to allergies. the baby was a healthy and happy baby. i was just drained and became really thin.
dont have the abortion to please someone else or because you think the baby is destined to be unhealthy.
i wish you good luck whatever your decision.
No, neither you or your baby have to be unhealthy — there’s help out there for both of you to be healthy and whole, and getting there starts with you just saying “Yes, I deserve to be happy and healthy” and acknowledging that again and again, day after day.
Call around to some public health agencies and explain that you’re in need of some counseling for your clinical depression so that you can find some help with that that’s effective and affordable. Again, you deserve to be happy and healthy, so just do t for yourself. The fact is, if you don’t seek the help you need, you’ll be depressed whether you have the abortion or not — so go on and get the help you need.
Also, in a clinically depressed state, you really SHOULDN’T be making big decisions about your life right now — getting an abortion would count as a big life decision. You’ll want to know that you were in the best frame of mind to think through everything and choose what’s best.
If the idea of becoming a mother scares you, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Parenting can be scary and overwhelming for even the best parents out there — but again, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Instead, you should look at it as a good sign that you understand parenting to be important and not to be taken lightly. That’s a lot more than a lot of other people who never gave any of it a second thought. If you know that you have to get your act together to be a good parent, than take steps for YOU and for your baby to get your act together. Take parenting classes, get some prenatal healthcare, keep moving forward with small changes that overtime will have a tremendous positive effect on your life and in turn, a positive effect on your baby.
Good, positive thoughts to both you and your baby!!! All the best and good luck.
there are sooo many woman that dont get scheduled for their 1st appt till they are 12 weeks and dont get any prenatal consultation till then. the baby is sucking every once of nutrient it can from your body so dont worry about that. also there are so many woman who dont find out that they are pregnant till their 4th month and so they drink and do stuff and their babies come out healthy.
if you really dont want the baby you should give it up for adoption do you see all the people in the trying to concieve section of this website do be selfish give the baby and somebody else the chance to be happy
first off it isnt entirely your boyfriends decision on wether to keep the baby or not. Its something he can forget about down the road but you will always remeber even if the two of you bresk up. You have to go through the procedure and know that you had a life inside of you. You are still quite early in your pregnancy and your baby and you should be perfectly healthy. I myself am three months and still havent been to the doctor because im waiting for my insurance to go through. Also ive knowen plenty of girls that were 3+ months before they even knew they were pregnant because they never missed a period. You should really decide if an abortion is what YOU want dont just do it because its what he wants. good luck to you